they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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