rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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