HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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