I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
