Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I deserve this hangover.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
