THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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