I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
A+ Viking dick
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
