i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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