I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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