The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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