They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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