Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
