Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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