Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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