no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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