NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
