There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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