just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
