Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
