i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
