love makes seman taste better
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
