Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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