She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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