evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize