8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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