People in love make me want to vomit
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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