Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
