We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
