if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
