Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
