Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
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We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
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I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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