Jerry, you need to find god
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
