Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize