its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize