Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
