I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
