so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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