I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Someone signed my nipple.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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