Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
