i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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