Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
