i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
