Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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