I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
