I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
