It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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