my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so let's talk penis.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
