you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
