Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
