I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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