Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
it hurts more in the daytime
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
