Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
