At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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