I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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