I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
