I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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