capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
