dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize