sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize